Do not take internet access for granted ever again!!!

I have not been online much at all for the past month or so which is amazing because, I admit, I am an internet addict! My internet at home is broken, got on seldom at the hospital, and the Delta appears to be about 20 years behind on wanting to be computer and internet literate--although it is available. I think we finally got it going today in Merigold at my brother's house but I have come back home for a few days. I did NOT want to come home and leave my brother but everyone seemed to think that I should. I only agreed to come so that I could work a little bit and earn some moolah so I can go to a marathon one day soon! I think I have about given up hope of going to Minneapolis as I am pretty out of shape physically and emotionally. And, am scared to leave and go out of town for that long as my brother is not making too much forward progress. But, we have been blessed with many visits and phone calls from wonderful friends which have made him very happy. He is such a brave person to face this awful challenge but he is doing it with dignity and courage despite having to accept maximum help for all of his activities of daily living. He is sleeping many hours a day now but is lucid when he is awake.

I have gotten to run a couple of times amongst the cotton rows, in the country which is pretty awe-inspiring even for someone who hates to run alone. I only get a good night's sleep every other night so I haven't been able to get up very early so haven't exercised too many times but, so what? I have plenty of time to do some more running and half marathons and whole marathons! So, I hope to see you all again and wish you the best of luck in Chicago. We are going to celebrate Chester's 60th birthday this weekend so I won't be doing the 10 miler with you in body but will definitely be there in spirit for the ten and also for your 26.2!!!! So, don't forget that and don't give up when you get tired and don't think you can go any farther because you can and you will cross that finish line and get that medal and that rush of emotion knowing that you achieved your goal!!!! I have a treat in mind that I want to get to you before the marathon but I'm not sure that I'm going to have time to do it--but I'll try!

My brother got out of the hospital today!!!!

My brother has gotten stronger each day so was discharged to his own house today. What a blessing for him to get to be in his own house although he still is about as weak as a newborn baby and will require round the clock nursing care. But, all his friends can now come visit him and cheer him up. My brother from California got here yesterday so I let him take him home and get him set up so he'd have some private time with him as I got a lot of alone time with him which was wonderful. And, Lord willing and the creek don't rise, I'll be there in the morning struggling to complete my 22 miles along with the rest of you! Ain't life grand?

I used to take it for granted

I used to take being able to exercise daily for granted. Although, I did know that being single allowed me to be selfish and get up at the crack of dawn and not bother anyone. But, not being able to exercise the past couple of weeks makes me REALLY appreciate finding the time to be able to get in a run. I think I ran once last week and I got up and ran this morning. My stamina was down but it felt good other than that, even alone in my neighborhood. Had to be at the hospital at 630 am to relieve the night shift but woke up at 4 am so decided I should hit the road just in case there is any hope I might be able to do the marathon. I couldn't run any more after 4 miles but maybe I'll get some more stamina in the coming weeks. If I have hospital coverage, I'll come do some of the 22 on Saturday--it would be nice to see everybody! But, if my brother gets out of the hospital, I won't be there and won't run this marathon but I'll do another one later on!

Marathon training pays off in other ways!

Have laptop on at the hospital on their network. Have spent many hours at the hospital since I last blogged. I only had about 3 hours of sleep per night for 4 straight nights but I did get to go home last night and sleep for a long time in my own bed. I don't think I could have survived this ordeal if I had not been strong from the training. And, I think that being stronger helped me be able to move my brother in the bed and help him in and out of the bed better than I would have been able to in my original couch potato form. Unfortunately, the findings at surgery were not what we had hoped and prayed for and only palliative surgery was done to improve his quality of life. He knows this now and is fairly depressed and has decided that he will not take chemotherapy as he is tired of fighting. And, I don't blame him one bit as he is making the right decision. But, as you can imagine, this situation is very sad for all of us who love him and care for him and very emotionally draining. But, our hope is for him to recover from this surgery, which he appears to be doing very well, and to get home and be able to do some fun things that he would like to do. We've got to get some strength back in his legs so he can help transfer from bed to chair, etc--I hope they will do some PT this week before he is discharged. I have pretty much given up exercise for now in order to be able to spend time up here. I strongly doubt that I will be running a marathon in four weeks but we shall see. I had hoped to get up this morning and run 10 miles by myself but the rack monster had a very strong hold on me! I wish I could have come to the marathon meeting to see if I could help but I was too exhausted to be able to be able to hold myself together. I wish I could be a fly on the wall and see all of your faces when you cross the finish line!

Neighborhood run today

I don't know if it was because I have not done anything since last Thursday or because I was in the "Tilling Up Asphalt" mode from running in my neighborhood alone, but today's run was not pretty nor would I necessarily call it a "run". But I did get out and do something which was very good for my marathon world psyche. I felt weak and out of shape which also could be from lack of sleep, peace, and enough food to eat. I have not had much appetite for the past several days, as you can imagine. Only in times of immense stress am I not constantly ravenous. But, the run sort of made me start eating again so that is good, too! I hope I can manage a run on Saturday. The only good thing about him being in ICU is that I would not feel guilty about leaving him as I could only visit him every 4 hours but, hopefully, he should be out of ICU by Saturday morning. It does feel a little cooler outside--HALLELUJAH!

In absentia

Well, I don't have much time to even read your blogs right now so will have to encourage everybody all at once on here! We're almost there to our goal. I am exhausted emotionally and physically and have little internet access for now. My brother has a tumor in his small bowel and is going to have a Whipple procedure done on Wednesday so please keep praying! At least now we know why he has been going downhill so quickly the last few months. Right now I am his security blanket, personal aid, etc so I can't even get to work very much. And, I have not been able to exercise either so I'm not sure that I'm going to be able to do a marathon on October 7th but we shall see. I had hoped to get up and come run 10 on Saturday morning but was afraid to leave him in the hospital as he needs so much help getting up to go to the bathroom. I considered getting up this morning to go as I got my sister to come down here to take turns spending the night in the hospital but I decided I needed the sleep worse than the run. Sleeping on the couches in hospitals leaves something to be desired. Back and neck hurting from that and from getting brother in and out of bed so many times to go to the bathroom. Run a few extra steps for me this week!!!!